Anxiously Awaiting...

Well, as you can see, the nursery is ready to go and so are we! I'm officially 3 weeks away from my due date, which seems almost unfathomable! After our long wait of almost 3 years, it's hard to believe that in 3 weeks (or maybe less) we will be holding our baby daughter. This was such a special week, celebrating Christmas and feeling so blessed with the awaited arrival of the little miracle in our life. Last Christmas we were not even sure if we would ever be able to experience this joy. Now it's right around the corner. In a way, I'm a little sad to have my pregnancy be over, as I have loved every minute of it...even now with the swollen feet, ankles (or should I say cankles) and aching back...I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Dustin is so excited for this baby to get here, he can hardly stop smiling. Picturing him holding our daughter brings me a joy I cannot even describe!

As for any new details, I really don't have many. Baby is very active and rolls around like crazy. Sometimes I think she's doing sommersaults in there. I have not felt any contractions yet at all. Just had a doctor's appointment yesterday and all appeared well. Doctor Swanson says he estimates the baby to be between 5 1/2 and 6 pounds at this point. So for now, we just wait! Something we have become very good at! Keep praying for a smooth, healthy delivery for me and wait for that phone call...it could be any day now!

Getting ready

Well, 28 weeks along and getting more and more excited. Our baby girl is growing everyday and and so am I! As you can see, we've been in the process of getting the nursery ready. With lots of help from Papa Smith, Dustin put up the wainscoting (oh, and lets give props to Stacey's dad, Charlie, our "plumber to the rescue" for his help as well, after our slight mishap)! Dustin put together the crib and changing table...now just waiting on the armoire from the store (Mom and Dad Rosty going with us to pick that up next weekend) and the window seat/toy box that Dad Smith's wood shop class is building for us. Still pinching ourselves everyday that we are going to have a tiny little baby girl to fit in those tiny adorable baby clothes. Still thanking God everyday for his blessings and loving every minute of every day being pregnant. Can't believe we're only three months away from holding that little blessing in our arms...

Real

Halfway through my pregnancy and I still have to look at myself in the mirror everyday to really believe it. And every time I feel her kick and move around, I can’t help but smile. She’s real. She’s our gift from above. For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, my very first post talked about a book I read called, “The Ultimate Gift.” That book got me started writing this blog. You can read it by going to the side of this page where it says “blog archive” and click on “2007.” It will bring you to my first page of posts – my first one at the bottom. It’s amazing for me to read that now, knowing how far we have come. It probably sounds cliché, but I wouldn’t trade all the pain and heartache we endured the past 3 years, for the joy God has brought us today. I know how blessed we are because I still know so many couples, so many girls that I have become close to through all this, who still don’t have their baby. I pray for them everyday, as I remember that pain and heartache all too well. It’s something that will always be with me. You know who you are girls, and you are the strongest women I know.

It's a.....

GIRL!!!! The first thing I said to Dustin when we left the imaging center was..."Oh the shopping I'm gonna do!" We found out yesterday on our 18 week ultra sound. We are so so so excited and blessed! The baby was moving around so much that the lady could hardly tell at first, but got two angles that showed her it is a girl - so she said 90% sure! Let's hope she's right cause this little one is gonna have lots of fashionable girly clothes!! But most importantly everything looked like it was growing nice and healthy. And I think she's got mommy's long legs! Yay, a girl! Watch out Dustin! (who is still a little in shock, but very excited to have a "daddy's girl!")

4 months and counting...

Still feeling so grateful, blessed, and full of joy everyday!! Yep, 4 months (17 weeks) along. Had a check-up yesterday with Dr. Swanson, which went well. I've gained a total of 3-4 pounds so far and baby's heartbeat is strong at about 150 BPM! And we also scheduled the appointment for the "big" ultrasound. It's next Wednesday!! We get to see our baby's hands, feet, spine, etc...and most excitingly...if it's a boy or girl!!! Any guesses??

Thank you

Just wanted to give a quick update. We are officially in our second trimester!! Physically I'm feeling pretty good. I had a few bouts with morning sickness but not too bad. I've also turned into a very picky eater, but other than that, I'm great! It's still pretty surreal for both Dustin and I but we are getting more and more excited as each week passes and as my belly grows a little more!

I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of my friends and family who have stood by our side through the past 3 years. We have truly learned who our real friends are and how blessed we are to have so many people that care about us. Thank you to those who took care of me during my surgeries...made us dinner, brought me Cold Stone, and called to check on me...those who were there for me to cry to, complain to, and just listen...those who cried and hurt with me...those who went shopping with me to take my mind off things...those who remained my friend although it was sometimes hard to know what to say...those who kept me smiling and laughing...and those who continually kept us in your prayers. You all know who you are. I wish there was a way I could repay all of you. The only way I know how is to promise that I will be there for you in any way I can. I love you all and am so happy to now be sharing our joy with all of you!

A Gift From Above...

More proof of our miracle! At 10 weeks, 1 day, we saw a head, arms, legs, and body!! And our baby even moved around!!!!! The little feet and hands were moving around like crazy. It's like he (or she) was saying, "Look mom and dad, I'm here and I'm okay!" Dustin was there with me, of course, and to look over and see his face during that amazing moment, was the best thing I could've ever hoped for. I can't imagine the joy that is to come. This baby is truly a gift from above!

Our miracle!!!!!

Praise the Lord! He has given us our miracle and we saw proof today! We have one baby with one very strong heartbeat that we got to see and hear! We are due January 19th!! Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support. You have all truly been a blessing to us. You can see the miracle for yourself:

Strength...

Another great number today!!! 20,937! That baby is growing in there! Now we just get to wait for our ultra sound at the end of the week. Continue to pray that we see a nice, strong heartbeat! I have a verse written down and lying on my desk at work. It has given me the strength to get through these past two very long weeks. Everytime I start to get afraid, I read it. I now not only read it as God's promise to give me strength, but a promise to give my baby strength to grow as well...

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Another step...

I wanted to post right away because I know a lot of you are waiting to hear the results of my second blood test. My hormone number is rising normally. The hormone level last week was 207 and the number today is 2,539. So far so good! I am feeling well - just very tired and sometimes crampy, which they say is also normal. Once again God has shown me that my worrying does nothing. He is in control and I just need to sit back and let Him handle it. Thank you all again for your thoughts, encouragement, and prayers!!

One step closer to our miracle!

Mother's Day is a day I have dreaded for the past three years of my life. But that changed in an instant today, the day after "Mother's Day." Yes, I got the call at 10 a.m. this morning - "you are so pregnant" were nurse Missy's exact words! The first time I have ever heard those precious words! My hormone number is great and now we just have to keep praying. We have weekly blood tests until the first ultra sound, to make sure the hormone level is increasing. Yes, more waiting, which is why we are still cautious. One step at a time, but one step closer...God is good!!

Another one...

Just a quick update - had my transfer on Tuesday. Everything went smoothly, as usual. The doctor told us we had three out of four "perfect" embryos and they transferred all four. More waiting, but it's hard to get my hopes up. Just going to turn it over to God, carry on with our lives, and look forward to our trip to Monterey next weekend! Can't wait! :)

Praise You in the Wait

I didn't want to get out of bed - didn't want to face the day.
This pain of infertility - it takes my breath away.

It seems everyone around me is sharing their good news,
But every month the disappointment reminds me what I lose.

I'm not complaining, God, for I know You hear my plea.
I know You have my best in mind, even when I fail to see.

I'm just being honest with you, God, and I know that You don't mind.
I want You to search my heart, even when I'm afraid of what You'll find.

I want my motives to be pure when asking You for such a treasure.
I don't want a baby for selfish reasons so I can receive the pleasure.

So I'll wait on You with faith and when my fear persists,
I'll ask You for the strength to stand no matter what Your answer is.

I'll praise You because of who You are and my heart will rest assured,
Because of the depth of Your perfect love I know I can endure.
- Darlene Suter

Still not our time

Blood test today negative.
I know many of you probably don't know what to say to us after you hear the bad news (especially for the hundredth time). But the truth is, saying nothing is best. Just your unconditional love and friendship is wonderful. All you can really do is be there for us if we want to talk or need a shoulder to cry on. We have awesome friends and family. Feel free to post comments on here whenever you want - I love reading them :)

Eggs in my basket

Okay, I'm finally getting to get up and walk around a little after lying down with my feet up for almost 2 days! My back is killing me! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Everything went smoothly during the procedure. They transferred three embies - 2 were good quality and 1 was okay, according to Dr. Synn. So it's in God's hands now. We'll just wait and see. Please just check back here in a couple of weeks for results.
One of the nurses at the hospital told me, "it's Easter weekend and you're getting your eggs put back in your basket!" I guess that's true! Love ya'll!

Ready to go...

FET is scheduled for Saturday. Depending on the quality of the embies after they are thawed, we will hopefully be transferring four which is what we did last time. Will be lying down with my feet up for 24 hours after that, which means all through Easter Sunday. This will be the first time my whole life that I won't be going to church on Easter! After that, 2 weeks to wait and then we'll see. Welcome to our life! Stay tuned... :)

Thursday Update

Not too much news to report. Just have to increase my meds over the next few days and go back in on Tuesday morning for more bloodwork and another u/s. Hopefully by then I'll be ready and they'll give me instructions for my final shot. I'm guessing maybe Friday or Sat for the FET? I'll post here again on Tuesday. Thanks for checking in! :)

Here we go again...

So, the plan is that we are having a frozen embryo transfer done sometime during the week of March 17th. So far it looks like it will be towards the end of that week.
I started my shots last week and everything looked good at my u/s today, so I start more shots tonight and go back for bloodwork and another u/s on Thursday the 13th. I will keep everyone updated on here as to how everything looks after my appt on Thursday. Just continue to pray and whatever happens is how it's meant to be :)

New Hope

It's on to a new year, with renewed hope. We are still not totally ready to start the "procedures" again, but I feel a renewed sense of hope as we go into 2008. Whether God's plans are for us to have a baby or adopt, we will have our family someday. That's the hope I hold on to for now. We had such a wonderful Christmas vacation spent with our wonderful families. We are so blessed. Happy New Year to you all!